On a Tuesday afternoon exactly one week since my trip to the ObGyn I received a call. As soon as my phone rang and I saw who was calling I had a completely sick feeling in my stomach. I had been told to expect my results online so there was only one reason they were ringing and that was tell me something was wrong with me.
Things started well enough, smear, thyroid and prolactin levels were all fine. And then came the big BUT. The ObGyn told me I have an extremely high AMH level. I didn’t even remotely know what that meant but my eyes were already filled with tears. She explained my result was 23.60 ng/ML, which meant I have lots of eggs but she doesn’t think I’m actually ovulating even though I have had periods, and it is almost definite that I have PCOS. I honestly felt like I had been kicked in the stomach. I heard everything she had said but had to ask her to repeat it all so I could let the news actually sink in. She went on to explain that a normal range for AMH is about 2-3 (interpretation of AMH levels) and then came the words “this is the highest result I’ve ever seen, before this I’d only seen 11”. Perhaps not the wisest thing to say as it only served to make me completely freak out. The ObGyn then did ease my suffering slightly telling me that this result means I have lots of eggs (woo hoo!) although they don’t know the quality (waaah!) and there is a big risk of over stimulation and releasing too many eggs at once (waaah!) so you are going to need to see a fertility specialist (waaah!), and recommended Dr K.
Up until that point, my only experience of infertility had come from being a die-hard Sex and the City fan and following Charlotte’s experiences. I think its fair to say then that my knowledge of real infertility, not based on a fictional character, was therefore more or less zero.
I called Sam at work, and through vast amounts of sobbing, managed to tell him what had happened. He really is an amazing support and the only person in the world capable of calming me down and bringing me back the surface when I feel in the depths of despair. We agreed there was no point in looking back anymore and wishing for anything else as that wasn’t going to achieve anything. In the roll of the dice this is what life has thrown us and the only place left to go is forwards and get the help we need.