Infertility

A dedication to Sam

Sam and I don’t really do Valentines day. We never have. There are card exchanges, usually (this year Sam gave me a Christmas card he found in the drawer…and they say romance is dead?!) but not flowers, teddy bears or over-priced restaurants. I’m fine with that, I definitely am a romantic, but I appreciate everything Sam does for me day in and day out and don’t need anything over the top on February 14th. We were both off work today and spent the most wonderful day in the sun, a real bonus to living in the US, as back in the UK it’s very cold and very wet still. We walked along the river, had a picnic, went kayaking, had an enormous ice cream from Dairy Queen (not in keeping with low GI, I know, but I’ve got to have the odd treat!) and are going out for dinner later tonight. A perfect day. Throughout all this trying to conceive madness (we will be hitting the one year mark in a couple of weeks), Sam is the one constant thing. He is a complete rock, sheltering me in the stormy sea. He puts up with so many tears, tantrums, sadness and irritability from me, but I know no matter how this journey of ours turns out, I have him always. I always wanted, but never believed, I would find any one to love, or to love me back like he does. So this post is a little dedication to him, a thank you for being you. Here are just a few things recently that he has done that I appreciate so much:

  • Staying positive when I am feeling so low about everything trying to conceive related
  • Not giving up on me, ever
  • Telling me he loves me
  • Telling me he loves my ‘perfect’ boobs
  • Making the bed and dealing with the dishwasher all the time currently
  • Believing and supporting me in my recent career change
  • Always saying sorry, even though we both know I was the bad one
  • Having sex, even though he is really tired because I felt a twinge down there and thought maybe my body decided it wanted to ovulate (no it didn’t, thanks body for all the deceiving signs as usual!)
  • Telling me he will always want me, even if I can’t give him a baby

There are so many other things but this is just a small snapshot of the last couple of weeks. Sam, I love you forever.

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